if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth
How uncomfortably humans deal with silence.
I smell a fucking challenge
Lets do it Jesse
I wouldn’t want to stay in there for long, but dude, I want to be in there for like five minutes so I can listen to my own blood, that sounds rad.
You wake up in bed one morning. It’s bright, but there is an eerie silence. Not a single bird is singing, no voices can be heard outside, no noises of any sort. Suddenly, you hear a soft sort of chanting. It gets louder and louder, and you realize, it’s not chanting, it’s some sort of rock song. It increases in volume, seems to come from no where and yet everywhere at once, and then it merges into the sound of male voices intensely chanting “BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL”.
You hurriedly stagger outside, and all your neighbors are outside as well. Everyone is frozen with their eyes fixed on the sky. None of them make any movements or sounds. They just stare. You look up as well.
In the sky, you see the gigantic face of a smiling man in a bow tie. His face gets closer and closer, and larger as he gets nearer. The song gets louder until your ears feel like they’re going to explode. Eventually, the entire sky is taken up by the man’s face. The time is now up for humanity. The end is Nye.
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
I LITERALLY DO 8 SECONDS OF WORK THEN REWARD MYSELF WITH 40 MINUTES OF TUMBLR LIKE CAN I STOP DOING THAT
im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to
spiderman dances to the beat
no matter what song
ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
Which one of you assholes brought this back
this picture of myself has to get 100,000 notes
UK grading system
Time to move to the UK
Dude I would kill for that grading scale
wait, so what is it in america then?
Anything below that is an F
is that real??
Abandoned Disneyland in China.
thats creepy as fuck
someone make a story about this please
sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’
but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’
Oh my lord. The tears.
He’s tripping on acid
I tried to scroll past